Mne Only is an exhibition and auction of works by English artists in aid of the Everyman male cancer campaign.  It culminates in a champagne reception and auction at Libertys on the 11th September at 7.00pm.  Tickets for the reception and auction are available here at the Men Only site or by calling this number  020 7153 5378.

Men Only have some superb art on display at the exhbition and this is a great opportunity to support a cause that directly helps men.  My father died of the effects of prostate cancer and I recently lost a very close male friend to bowel cancer. I know and I am sure all What Makes a Man readers know deadly these diseases can be.  Please go, have fun and support a very worthwhile cause.  

I sometimes eat breakfast in a cafe in North London.   Once or twice a month I have a meeting near Finsbury Park.  When I do, I eat breakfast at a particular cafe.

Somerset Maugham, the English man of letters, once said “If you want to eat well in England you have to eat breakfast three times a day”.  Indeed breakfast is the one meal that English cafes always (almost always) do well. 

The cafe owner is a quietly handsome man, slight of build, with a friendly face and always a slight smile.  He has dark skin and dark eyes and I guess he is around thirty.  I was told that though he has lived in England most of his life, he and his family came to England as immigrants.  His English is accented but precise. 

He is the cook as well as the owner, always working in the long open kitchen that stretches back from the counter.  His family used to take orders and wait table but now a blonde Polish girl does it. 

His breakfasts are a work of art.  The bacom is moist with just the right amount of crispness, the fried mushrooms plump and free of grease, the eggs fried perfectly with hot yellow yolks, the hash browns crispy and golden, warm and melting on the inside.

Sometimes he multi-tasks, working both the counter and the kitchen.  I wish him a good morning, he smiles and returns his own good morning and asks me what I want to eat. 

We both enjoy our simple exchanges.  He clearly has a definite view of what good manners are and an unspoken expectation that a man should have them.  I have the same expectation and enjoy the cordial politeness of English manners.  I remember the first time I complimented him on his food and he was clearly pleased.  Over time we have built a connection solely around mutual courtesy.

I ate there last week after an absence of two months.  I was surprised when he left the kitchen and personally served me breakfast.  We exchanged good mornings and he then told me how pleased he was to see me and how good it was that I was back in his restaurant.  I was touched by his gesture.  The moment was a gift, to be remembered.

It was the perfect demonstration of the value of manners.  Two men respectfully acknowleding each other, bridging their separate selves with common courtesy.

In London, with its sense of time running out and people consumed by work, good manners and the consideration of others can be a momentary oasis in a desert of anonymity.

Good manners are inseparable from style.   

I have just received my copy of “Manliness” by Harvey C Mansfield.   This study of what constitutes manliness is a timely addition to our current debate about men and manliness.  I will publish a full review in the near future.